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Who Is Anthony John Polcari? How A Boston Guy Became TikTok’s wholesome Influencer Teaching Life Skills
His full name is Anthony John Polcari. He was a working-class townie kid north of Boston. His parents divorced when he was 4 years old and he split his time between them. His mother, on the way to work, would drop him off for the day at Whirlaway Golf Shop, by the Merrimack River. He developed a swing good enough to compete on the New England PGA Junior Tour.
He says he was raised “by a village” that included his grandfather Dan Ferraro, who would quote Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” — “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” — and Marie Donahue, his great-aunt, who became like a second mother to him. When she died in 2012, she left Tony P her collection of 70 vinyl records of Neil Diamond. Two now hang on the wall in his apartment. He wants her close by.
Tony P graduated from Boston College in 2021, worked briefly in accounting in Boston, and last year got a consulting job in D.C., where he’s building a life made of noisy happy hours and bespoke Subway sandwiches and “Morning Joe.” He hints at vague aspirations of running for office eventually. He recently announced that he is part of “the Subway Squad,” a brand collaboration that brought him to Kansas City earlier this month for a showcase of his beloved sandwiches.
“Most of the time, being Tony P is great,” says Tony P. “It’s fantastic.”
But not having somebody, not having been with someone for a while — things get a little lonely sometimes. They just do. And I hope the person’s out there. I really do.” The question keeps him up at night. “Am I going to end up alone?” wonders Tony P.
Tony P never expected to be recognized on the streets of D.C. This is now a near-daily occurrence. All because he took a timeout from Washington’s dating scene. After two relationships ended back-to-back earlier this year, Tony P took a break from the game to teach himself domestic skills in preparation for that special someone.
“I want to be the best damn husband I can be,” says Tony P. “The best father I can be.” He decided to record himself learning how to be those things.
“I noticed there weren’t a lot of male influencers in their early-to-mid-20s that did things like cooking, cleaning or running a house,” he says. “Now that I’m getting a platform, how can I use it to better benefit people?”
Making cod and spending Saturdays cleaning is not community service. But he hopes his mundanity conveys a version of “positive masculinity.” Or “vibrant masculinity,” which he partly defines as “showing compassion and empathy” and “being emotionally vulnerable with people.” Related: He’s considering making mental health a part of his videos in the future.
“I didn’t have a lot of girlfriends,” says Tony P. “That always stuck in my craw a little bit. I was always kind of questioning my own manhood because of it.”
In a world in which many young men follow influencers like Andrew Tate, the former kickboxer and self-described misogynist, Tony P is busy listening to the Carpenters.
From a young age, he was an old soul. That’s what everyone says. Tony P pins down how old: 35. “I’m more of a 35-year-old trapped in this body,” says Tony P.
On a top floor of a glass-walled apartment building on a brutalist stretch of Pennsylvania Avenue, somewhere between the Oval Office and the Senate chamber, past a bored concierge, up an elevator, down an endless hallway, in a sterile apartment filled with rented furniture, Tony P studies his salmon.
He softly sings the “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” theme song, even though there are no neighbors around. He mounds red and white miso paste into a bowl, douses it with rice vinegar, soy sauce and honey, and mixes it into a beige sludge to bathe two meaty filets. He’s never touched most of these ingredients before and is going mostly on feel. When the food finishes cooking, he exclaims, “It’s a Christmas miracle,” even though it isn’t. It’s just a quiet Tuesday in the life of Tony P.
“I’m learning along with my followers,” he says. He’s got more than 66,000 on Instagram, where he documents his life as an average “25-year-old bachelor in D.C.” His life is basic. People love it. This month he’s been getting hundreds of new followers every day.
During the week, he walks 35 minutes to his consulting job, shedding calories that he replaces with extra double-chocolate cookies from Subway, where he devours “the Tony P Special”: a tower of turkey, bacon, green peppers, lettuce, spinach, onions, a little bit of rotisserie chicken, dressed with the MVP parmesan vinaigrette, on toasted wheat.
By now you could probably guess that Tony P is in a kickball league. After games on the National Mall, he might hit a happy hour at Astro Beer Hall or one of the other Miller Lite-soaked bars every 20-something professional in D.C. flip-cups through. In the evening, he attempts new cod and salmon recipes and winds down with an episode of the original “Law & Order.”
“If Lennie Briscoe’s not in it,” Tony P says, “I’m not watching.”
Tony P’s Relatable Bachelor Routines Find An Audience Online
In many ways, Tony P represents an antidote to the flashy, high-drama influencer culture that permeates social media. His videos offer a peek into the relatively normal life of a single guy learning to cook and clean on his own for the first time. Tony P comes across as charmingly wholesome rather than polished.
Audiences seem to find his authenticity and vulnerability refreshing. In a sea of Instagram cool kids and YouTube daredevils, Tony P resonates by keeping it simple.
Posting updates on his weekend cleaning sessions or attempts to bake salmon may sound mundane. But that everyday relatability makes Tony P feel like your goofy neighbor just doing his best.
Tony P also fills a void by providing positive and constructive content aimed at young men. Avoiding toxicity, his videos focus on building domestic skills that anyone living alone needs. He promotes emotional openness and empathy. That sending of “vibrant masculinity” feels rare.
While Tony P says he feels occasional loneliness, his tweets and videos radiate earnest optimism about the future. His content creates online community, even if his own apartment is empty aside from Neil Diamond records.
As Tony P’s following grows, he wants to inspire his peers to see the richness in routine daily life. Improving practical skills like cooking for one’s future partner can be rewarding. A home-cooked meal and Law & Order rerun is worth celebrating.
By embracing mundanity and approaching it with good humor, Tony P finds meaning. His outlook promotes gratitude and presence. While basic on the surface, his philosophy fosters well-being.
In an Internet age marked by ironic detachment, Tony P is radically sincere. He is unapologetically himself. And that genuineness has struck a chord.
Tony P represents a yearning for connection and purpose among young people today. His lonely bachelor content nudges back against the disengagement and cynicism pervasive online. Turns out, there is an audience for earnestness.
