We’ve been to four comedy clubs in recent months, and it is Haggerty’s misfortune that it came last on the roster. There may indeed be too many comedy clubs in South Florida, especially with the high-powered Improv muscling its way in.
We’ve seen the good, the bad — and the bad twice. Some of these performers have returned like a bad meal, moving from one club to another to torture us.
Haggerty’s trotted out a troika of losers on a recent night, providing a torturous wait until the headliner. He proved equal to the lesser performers at the good clubs, but by comparison to his stage-mates at Haggerty’s this night, he was a god.
We will spare the bums the embarrassment of mentioning their names, but here’s a sampling of their stink bombs.
No. 1: “Hey folks, remember: Don’t drink and dive. If you have to drink, don’t dive. Have a designated diver.”
No. 2: “Smoking killed my brother. He was lighting up in a Yugo and the Marlboro truck ran right over him.”
No. 1 again, after surrendering to No. 2 and coming back for another try: “Did you ever get nailed for speeding, and see the trooper make a U-turn in the median, flip eight times, burn up, and think, ‘Man, that was lucky.”‘
No. 3: “If Wilt Chamberlain is right, he’s had sex with 3.4 women every day from the age of 17 until now, and I think he’s 52. How do you have sex with .4 women a day?”
How bad is it when the comedy acts themselves are sighing and looking at their watches? It happened. Think how the audience felt. Until finally, Bob Baker, a gravel-voiced avowed pot-head who actually had timing, personality, and an intelligence that allowed him to spin yarns and talk topically.
“Bush said ‘read my lips, no new taxes.’ Turns out he was auditioning for Milli Vanilli.” To an audience member: “You were staring at me like a dog looking at a ceiling fan.”
Haggerty’s offers good food, beer around $2.25, a low cover and no minimum. But its padded metal chairs aren’t too comfortable, and the tables are so crammed together that waitresses bump against patrons to get by.
Haggerty’s has been around several years, probably because of its stength as a bar-restaurant. As a comedy club, based on our visit, Haggerty’s is haggard.
NIGHTLIFE NEWS
Starting at 7:30 p.m. Sunday, there will be a festival of lights in Club Boca, at the corner of Palmetto Park and Powerline roads, Boca Raton. Star Singles is hosting a Hanukkah party for singles 21 to 39.
The $10 cover charge includes a complimentary buffet, dancing to a live band and a gift. Parking is free. Call Sam Halpert at 921-5067 or the Star Line at 1-800-940-1782.
— Where are they now? Tonight and Saturday, the jazz group MVP Quintet is at the Backstage in Jupiter.
The group plays contemporary jazz covers and original music.
— If you missed jazz singer Tony Bishop the last time she was at Musicians Exchange at Bourbon Street, Boca Raton, don’t worry.
She performs at Bourbon Street tonight and Saturday. Tickets are $7 and $12. Call 750-0682.
— Three years ago, $3 million was spent to renovate the Forge, 432 Arthur Godfrey Road, Miami Beach. On July 31, the Miami Beach institution was damaged by fire, smoke, soot and water.
This month, the Forge reopened, and there have been changes. The dining room now has 175 seats, 300 less than in the past. And there is a new lounge.
“We have converted the Gallery Dining Room, which is located right behind the Main Dining Room, into a dramatic new lounge with an unusual octagonal bar,” said Alvin Malnik, owner of the Forge.
According to Malnik, the finishing touch given the room was the addition of live entertainment. Jazz singer Beebe White, accompanied by keyboardist Paul Banman, blends the style of a Josephine Baker with the today sound of Whitney Houston or Anita Baker. Also entertaining is Daniel Marozzi, an Argentinean singer whose musical style was influenced by such Latin artists as Chita Rivera and Tito Puente.
— The Nightlife News portion of this column is written by Joan Brazer.
HAGGERTY’S
1745 NW Second Ave.
Boca Raton
391-2344
Entertainment hours: vary
Cover: $5
Minimum: no
Valet parking: no
Dress: casual to neat casual
