Why has our sex life changed?
A person with dementia experiences physical and emotional changes because of their condition. These changes can affect how they feel about sex and intimate relationships.
Some types of dementia, especially frontotemporal dementia (FTD), can affect a person’s inhibitions, their sexual behaviour and their attitude towards sex. A person with this type of dementia may, for example, express their sexual interest more directly or openly. FTD may also impair a person’s ability to feel empathy, which can affect both partner’s sense of intimacy.
Some people find a diagnosis of dementia reassuring as it explains the changes that they have been experiencing in their sexual or intimate relationships.
How to cope with changes to your sex life caused by dementia
In any relationship, problems can arise when one person expresses more or less interest in having sex than the other. This is a situation experienced by many people in long-term relationships – even when dementia is not involved. If this does happen, try to remember that this is not uncommon, and look for realistic, practical solutions. Finding someone to talk to can also be helpful.
You or your partner may become frustrated if their sexual needs are not met, especially if one of you is more interested in sex than the other. This is normal, and there are things you can do to make it easier.
What can we do to feel better?
There are a number of ways to relieve pent-up sexual tension – for example, masturbation. Exercise and other energetic activities may also help reduce physical tension.
Sexual intimacy can meet needs for closeness, touch, belonging, security, acceptance and warmth, or the need to feel special to another person. If some of these other needs can be met in other ways, a person’s desire for sex may be reduced. For example, close non-sexual friendships can help to meet some of the need for emotional intimacy.
Therapies, such as massage and reflexology, which involve physical contact, can be very relaxing. If you and your partner are finding that you are unable to have sex or be intimate, it could be useful to look at other activities which could help reduce any frustration you both may be feeling.
