Liz and a friend were recently discussing their children and the things they’d been doing. You know, the regular kind of “moms with kids” conversation. Apparently the friend’s oldest daughter, age 7, had done the unthinkable. She cut her own hair! After some sympathy talk (she was about 4 when she finally had a head of hair!) they laughed until the tears came. The girl had been trying to brush her very curly hair with a big round brush and the brush got stuck. Instead of asking for help, she thought she’d be an independent 7-year-old and take care of it herself. She cut a huge chunk from above her ear to cut the brush out. Her hair had been past her shoulders — now she had half long and half VERY short hair. Liz’s friend took her to get it professionally cleaned up, the best they could, without cutting all of her hair totally short. The headbands and ponytails helped to hide it as well, if you didn’t pay attention to the fact that one side is not pulled into the pony.
It seems all of us have had had similar hair experiences. If kids aren’t cutting the hair off their dolls they’re chopping their own. Liz’s son did the same thing this past year at age 7. He came to Liz holding a garbage can and stated proudly, “Look mom, look what I did!” He was so pleased with himself, smiling from ear to ear. The 3-inch almost-bald spot in the front of his hair looked like a boulder had plowed through a forest of thick trees, leaving a valley with the forest neatly intact on both sides! After regaining her composure (a mixture of Oh-My-Gosh what did he do and held-in hysterics), they talked about what he was thinking of when he did this. It seems that the hair in the front of his face was getting in his eyes and since he avoids haircuts (for reasons unknown) he thought he’d solve the problem himself. The next day he got a real haircut from a professional.
These are wonderful childhood stories to be repeated with joy over the years. Liz’s son gets a kick hearing it over and over again. Cutting one’s own hair is a very normal thing for a child to do between the ages of 3 and about 10. Even younger if they have access to scissors. Little ones cut their hair and then may even try to put the hair back on, not understanding the concept that it can’t just be put back and won’t grow back immediately. Some may invent stories as to how it happened or deny that it happened at all. Some may be distraught that the haircut didn’t turn out as they had expected. Hysterics often ensue after this is understood. After all, the professional at the salon or barbershop can do it, why can’t they?
If you ever find yourself in this usual but nevertheless shocking circumstance, we have some humble suggestions. Remember a few things as you process what has happened (the shock, anger and/or giggles may be overwhelming!). Hair will always grow back, even if it’s not as fast as we would like. If your child is upset, don’t make him or her more upset by scolding. The natural consequences of what has happened will be with him or her until the hair grows back. They will be unlikely to try THAT again soon, if the experience is anything like ours was. Help the child find a way to wear the hair so that they can feel comfortable until it grows back. If you don’t take your child to a professional hairdresser, now is a good time, even if just temporarily. You don’t want to laugh at your child right now; he or she may be feeling a little fragile or self-conscious. Give it a little while, and you both will regain your sense of humor and be laughing at the silly things he or she did in no time.
Fine and Grey have counseling backgrounds. Call 954-356-4754 and leave a recorded message or write to Ask Two Moms, Sun-Sentinel, 200 E. Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301. E-mail: . Please include your phone number.
